Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
