Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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