I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
