Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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