i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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