If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
