I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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