she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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