hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
