People in love make me want to vomit
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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