somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
