i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
