Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
