She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
