like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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