It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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