yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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