My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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