Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
