You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
