I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
