Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
