A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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