I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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