I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
