I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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