some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
there was a trapeze. enough said
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
