Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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