If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
