I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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