It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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