I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
