his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
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