thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
