I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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