You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dignity is for republicans.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
