I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
