Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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