ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Randomize
