Sponge bath it is.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
