bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
