All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Oh god it's open bar.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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