If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
