i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
