i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
