She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Randomize
