it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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