Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
