Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
