his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
