I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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